The Apostrophic Prayer

O Mighty Apostrophe,
Grant that we may discern Thy noble purposes
And learn Thy mysteries.
In Thy absence, contractions become possessives,
And in Thy presence, pronouns are transformed
Into vain phrases.
Thy Power and Thy Glory are manifested in the Great Books,
And we pray Thee that Thou wouldst descend upon our schools,
That our children may share in Thy Wisdom.
Among all Punctuation Marks, none is so misunderstood,
Except perhaps the comma.
Though Thou rulest over contractions and possessive nouns,
Through Thee we are also blest with primes and quotations.
Descend upon our sentences, we pray,
And grant us diligence and precision in all our writings.
 

Dwight Harold Galster